Saturday, November 07, 2009

Is free spirit the new slut?

"Really? I didn't know he/ she was hitting on me."

I find such sentences puzzling. How can you not know? At 17, being obtuse may be your a birthright. At 25, not being able to tell who wants to get into your pants is plain stupid.

My boyfriend ( I think I've begun to refer to him as Junny) is a classic example. He just can't recognise a fawning woman. You can be wearing a low cut black number and murmuring, "Really, you play the piano? Can you teach me sometime?" and he will overlook your tone, cleavage, intent and just be so happy at interest shown that his "sure, anytime" will be genuinely short sighted.

Me: She's coming on to you.
He: No, she's not, poor thing, leave her alone.
Me: Trust me. I know these things.
He: Is this the only way your mind works?
Me: Ugh. Fine.
He : Ugh fine yourself.

Really, men can sometimes be more obtuse than 17-year old girls.


The thing is, I love flirting. It's fun, it's distracting, it makes me laugh and if well-done, makes me imagine a scenario or two and even run my fingers through my hair in slow motion (but not too slow). 'Carefully careless' is the term a friend used to use. But then he fell in love with me and became a killjoy. But that's another story.

The great part is that flirting gives ugly men a chance. You can be fat and have bad teeth, but if you have the confidence to be goofy, honest and flirt well, we're all ears.
  • Make me laugh.
  • Don't say LOL, (always Ha Ha).
  • Don't pretend you know about the government when you're more like Chautala who.
  • Don't quote song lyrics in texts (unless you've written them).
  • Don't use too many smileys.
  • Don't hesitate to compliment.
  • Don't lie.
  • Don't hold back.
  • Don't fear getting spurned.
And if spurned, have the balls to laugh at yourself. It's all good -- just as long as you can tell the difference between a guy talking to you and same guy chatting you up. It's sometimes a subtle difference, but it's always there.

I'm not sure it works well the other way too. Do men care about women being good flirts? Do men care about men being good flirts? I could be wrong, but the straight ones all just want glossy mouths and big breasts. Really.

6 comments:

crackfire said...

Emperical evidence suggests that when espousing such profound Dos and Donts, the use of bullet points has helped to get the message across more clearly.

Furthermore I have always been the guy who girls have "talked" to but this doesn't always translate into other more physically straining activities.

It does work the other way round to but this is a necessary condition and not a sufficient one. Ugly girls still don't qualify :P

tys said...

Iam with your boyfriend in regards to this. Often it has been pointed out by my wife that i have been hit upon but i beg to differ, since : 1. I really dont think so.
2. Its very kind of my wife to assume that her husband is desirable to other women.

In my opinion, flirting is an art thats best left to talented people.

Nimpipi said...

Crackfire:
1. Can't argue with empirical evidence
2. Bullets it is
3. No surprise, 'the ugly girls don't qualify' part.

Tys: Your wife must have been spot on, as I suspect, am I. If you mpeople weren't desirable to other women, we might not have been with you.

The Mystic said...

1. Men don't grow after the age of 4, so we still think Santa is real! :D (he is ok)
2. tys is right let the experts take care of flirting, I am banking upon Axe Deo to help me out :)
3. I like talking in points :D
4. Have a nice day

a n k | t said...

@ mystic: "Axe Deo"... feminists might have strong opinions about this, careful!

Miss P said...

i would have to disagree with the don't quote song lyrics in texts. sometimes, just sometimes, if its the right song, and if theres some context, it may just work :P