Wednesday, March 31, 2010

T.V remote, set us free

My boyfriend’s chacha – the youngest of his 2 father’s brothers – sends one long email every Monday to all his friends and family. He’s been doing this since the Jan 4, the first Monday this year.

Yesterday, his nephew made me read a couple of lines from the most recent mail. Something about filter coffee – I remember the word “brewing”, and an analogy about the length of Tabu’s hair. I stopped reading because I got bored. I thought if he continued to read, he might talk about birds that chirp early morning and sound lovely.

At least he’s got the writing discipline. Nephew calls it “pretentious shit”. Still, I thought I might take a leaf out of his book. Not the bore people to death part, just the practice written word part.

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Batman Begins

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

Episodes of Desperate Housewives

I've increased T.V intake. In a very healthy way. I watch the 11 p.m HBO movies. Or the ones on Sony Pix. The channel with the best trailers.

Batman Begins, for example, that ridiculous Christian Bale apart, made me think I need more Michael Caine in my life. I’d be so flattered if he thought I was witty. Not sure how to go about this though. I also wish I was friends with Morgan Freeman. We’d have conversations, not just gossip. I could drop by his place after work to sit on his porch, hear the traffic, and drink coffee while he coated two bits of philosophy in a joke and tell me I better get home before it gets dark. His wife would be dead, of course.

I don’t know why I said that.

Also, yesterday, I finally saw A Clockwork Orange. I loved the sets and costumes; the mother’s purple wig and red patent leather outfit and boots, the pet python who had an ‘accident’, and the flower-shaped cane chairs (we used to have one of those). Love the close-up of the writer, the wheel-chaired resident of HOME as he, in mustard-coloured robes, starts shivering with recognition as bath-tub-soaking Alex, with a blue wash cloth covering his face, starts humming the bars of Singin’ in the Rain. Love the revenge of the smelly homeless old people under the tunnel. And best, how close to the end, cheery “humble narrator” (Alex?) in full body cast, in the hospital bed, opens his mouth into repeated perfect ‘O’ shapes and chomps noisily as that beak-nosed, maligned minister feeds him peas with a fork and knife before they start posing for the horde of flashbulbs.

And while all that is fine, I want to know, is CARLA BRUNI in that movie? Young, perky-nippled Carla, wearing-only undies, and I think, shoulder-length straightened lavender wig with a fringe, Bruni? In the scene when “humble narrator” is on stage being tested to see how he reacts to violence and sex? Surely you’re a Kubrick fan who knows these things, also loves Fear and Loathing in L.V, wore baggy tee shirts in college and can therefore deliver me from ignorance and googling, amen.

13 comments:

Han said...

Carla Bruni would have been around 4 years old when the movie was made. :D

Nimpipi said...

Ha ha! Serves me right for asking stupid questions. In my defence though, she looked 58 in the recent botoxed picture I saw of hers. Dayumn. Thank you for the enlightenment. But when you see the movie next, pause at the scene, you'll know what I mean:))

Thanatos said...

It's probably well before Bruni's time. Her name is Virginia Wetherell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Wetherell

The story being, that the US version didn't have the last chapter published (the one where Alex goes straight and sober). Kubrick read the US version and refused to incorporate the last chapter, pissing off Burgess to no end.

Bet you knew that already, couldn't help spouting trivia.

Also, I think in real life, Morgan Freeman is a dick.

Janaki said...

"How to lose friends and alienate people" is actually (and surprisingly) a movie I enjoyed :) Why don't you like Christian Bale?

Rohan said...

The trivia about the ending is interesting. I don't think I'd have liked the straight-and-sober one, though. I'm a Kubrick fan, but I dislike him for what he's made the actors go through in this movie. Then again, they did sign up for it, I suppose.

For some reason whenever I think of the movie, the image that comes back to me is of the Nazis marching to the tune of Beethoven. And that lovely house in the country.

heh? ok said...

I would love to have Michael Caine as my philosopher in residence. He could initiate me into Zen, over cups of fragrant tea. Then Morgan Freeman could inspire me to change the world. Which I would. That's my biopic.

I like how your thoughts make me go off on so many random tangents.

Nimpipi said...

Than: I know nothing about Kubrick but that you think MF = dick in real life breaks my heart.

And now that I do the image search, this Virginia woman is not SUCH a splitting image of Mrs Sarko! Stwange are the ways. Especially as I thought I was always good at this who-looks-like-who(m?) business. There was a cricketer called Robin Singh who looked JUST LIKE Kevin Costner. Also, I was once told I look JUST LIKE Katharine Ross. You don't have to believe me. I'm going to stay here and preen anyway.

Janaki: Yellow! I really enjoyed How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Loved the dialogues, esp the loser Brit telling his Lord and author Daddy, "You thought Brad Pitt was a cave in Yorkshire!". Heh.

Christian Bale, too stiff for my liking. I get that he's playing Batman not Fred Flinstone and needs to be serious-ish.. but meh, I don't know. Too stiff. I'm going to stick with that. I'll give him looks though. He does look tasty. Stiff tasty.

Rohan: Yes, hello hello! Beethoven too you too. What has he made the actors go through? Somewhere in the last ten lines I remember typing Stanley and saying I knows nothing about Mr he. So much so that I was even going to call the post Morgan and Stanley sitting on a tree, b-l-o-g-g-i-n-g. That's how much nothing I know.

Heh: Hidey ho, little one. Zen is good. Fragrant tea makes me sleepy. Actually only Chamomile does. I accept your compliment and bow down in gracious thanks.

Cinna the Poet said...

Robin Singh and Kevin Costner? bit of a stretch huh, Pipi? well, if sexy broad-shouldered Robin and the uber-delicate Kevin had anything in common, it was definitely the receding hairline... completely agree with you on the brooding Bale though.

Rohan said...

Well, it couldn't have been fun for Mr McDowell to sit strapped to a chair with his eyelids pinned open. Especially when Kubrick's average number of takes pushes 100. And that's just one of the things he's made to go through in the movie. I think I remember reading somewhere that the actress in the "Singing in the Rain" scene never spoke to Kubrick again!

Robin Singh looks nothing like Kevin Costner. I always thought Robin Singh looked like Renja, my classmate. Renja was a better bowler too. But you probably wouldn't know him. I would've typed this with a contemptuous smirk, but since you look just like Katharine Ross, I can manage only a simper.

The Mystic said...

I prefer the dark knight! all the other batman movies are dumb! bt i liked the tv show with pow, kapoosh and kaboom poppin up on the screen!

saurabh punhani said...

being a guy who does love fear and loathing, and did wear baggy jeans in my tenure at UCSB, i can too testify that its not carla; however i urge you to watch Pulp Fiction and Snatch; both are seemingly unorganized movies where loose ends get tied up in the end while being funny,witty, and pure entertaining. I havent watched a hindi movie in yeons but i do watch sholay occasionally. anywhoo upwards and onwards.....

Brown Girls said...

OMG Nimp, you DO look like Katahrine Ross! It's true!

Brown Girls said...

*Katharine Ross :)