Labelled 'friends/ nut jobs': With you, it's always a good time to stay loose, stay foolish

"Please na, let's do the lesbian thing, please please..."

Cheap hook to start a post but what the hell -

Two weeks ago when I landed in Bombay and called my friend from inside the plane to say "haan bhai i'm here", she begged me to please, please, pleeeease come out looking hot. My nose looked fatter for it but I couldn't stop grinning. Boarding pass in hand, I marvelled at the comic slight -- how she knew I wouldn't already be looking hot and felt good about the fact that some women know you like the back of their hand. And then I proceeded to the loo at the airport to sort of, remove glasses, insert lenses, flip hair, and bring on the kohl.

Once out, I looked for her, didn't find her but the moment I coincidentally ran into some people I knew from Delhi (did a mental thank god I did a quick touch up), there it was -- one tight squealing hug from behind and a failed muah-muah lesbian thing with promised histrionics. With some women, there's always magic. I think we have that. Nothing beats public foolishness. It's our thing. To make asses of ourselves, loud puckering sounds and all.

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At her lovely, ridiculously expensive flat -- I'm so glad I don't live in Bombay! -- there are all these beautifully quirky clocks that don't tell the time. It's a running joke -- to fool people who come and say oh gosh, it's already 8, I better go, and then my friend and her flatmate crack up because their sucker count just went up. It's amazing how that doesn't get old! So when my friend gave me a quaint old-world-charm watch as a present -- the battery is lazy, I was still more tickled. It doesn't tell the time either but it's really beautiful. I wear it as a reminder of that foolishness. In this game of silly and sillier, the right answer to what's the time is: muffled snigger + "it's always a good time". I can't blame you for not laughing at this nonsense. I'm simply sharing the thought that has been making my mood float. 

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"When will you write about Bombay? Are you ever going to blog? Please na, write about me!" - same clear-hearted fellow foolish diva friend.

The one thing I was looking forward to was meeting her boyfriend. They've been seeing each other for a year (I think) and I've only heard uncharitable things about him FROM HER! So when I met him I was pleasantly, pleasantly surprised. I was also amazed by how someone, someone I love a lot, could paint such an inaccurate portrait of someone they love! "He's so ugly, so ugly.. I'll have such ugly kids.. shit! - but you might not think so because you've even said so and so is attractive." "I've told him if N doesn't like, you it's off"(!!) And then I met him. And sure, he's no looker, but I came off sounding like one of those panelist given the mike at a beauty contest who has to spout shit like, attractiveness is not about your jawline -- it's all within.

Okay, so I won't go as far as to say I thought he was attractive, but I definitely see what she might see. Great body, one. Dark, two. Patience in dealing with your stupid tantrums and shit, three. Doesn't take himself seriously, four -- this should be 'one', actually. Makes you laugh - should rank highest. And the rest of it. So what if he looks like an owl meets sherpa. I think that's cute. And the two of them still have so much to talk about, random rubbish, not 'topics' or what-did-you-do-today type strained shit, but a good ol' rapport with lightness and knowing smirks. So what if he listens to lambi-judai type crap on radio, wears those tight shirts, and his humour isn't an appetiser for me, oh AND he doesn't read - he has to float her boat, not mine. And you! Of all the men I've seen you with, this one watches over you the best. So here you go, validation on paper, in writing -- isn't that what you wanted? Marry the guy. Create your little dark sherpas. With so much good-natured foolishness in their DNA, they'll be a joy to have around. And I get to be their cool smarmy aunt.

Actually, whoever you marry I get to be that, so ignore everything I just said. I like him. It's a good time.