Thursday, October 06, 2011

Labelled 'friends/ nut jobs': With you, it's always a good time to stay loose, stay foolish

"Please na, let's do the lesbian thing, please please..."

Cheap hook to start a post but what the hell -

Two weeks ago when I landed in Bombay and called my friend from inside the plane to say "haan bhai i'm here", she begged me to please, please, pleeeease come out looking hot. My nose looked fatter for it but I couldn't stop grinning. Boarding pass in hand, I marvelled at the comic slight -- how she knew I wouldn't already be looking hot and felt good about the fact that some women know you like the back of their hand. And then I proceeded to the loo at the airport to sort of, remove glasses, insert lenses, flip hair, and bring on the kohl.

Once out, I looked for her, didn't find her but the moment I coincidentally ran into some people I knew from Delhi (did a mental thank god I did a quick touch up), there it was -- one tight squealing hug from behind and a failed muah-muah lesbian thing with promised histrionics. With some women, there's always magic. I think we have that. Nothing beats public foolishness. It's our thing. To make asses of ourselves, loud puckering sounds and all.

At her lovely, ridiculously expensive flat -- I'm so glad I don't live in Bombay! -- there are all these beautifully quirky clocks that don't tell the time. It's a running joke -- to fool people who come and say oh gosh, it's already 8, I better go, and then my friend and her flatmate crack up because their sucker count just went up. It's amazing how that doesn't get old! So when my friend gave me a quaint old-world-charm watch as a present -- the battery is lazy, I was still more tickled. It doesn't tell the time either but it's really beautiful. I wear it as a reminder of that foolishness. In this game of silly and sillier, the right answer to what's the time is: muffled snigger + "it's always a good time". I can't blame you for not laughing at this nonsense. I'm simply sharing the thought that has been making my mood float. 
"When will you write about Bombay? Are you ever going to blog? Please na, write about me!" - same clear-hearted fellow foolish diva friend.

The one thing I was looking forward to was meeting her boyfriend. They've been seeing each other for a year (I think) and I've only heard uncharitable things about him FROM HER! So when I met him I was pleasantly, pleasantly surprised. I was also amazed by how someone, someone I love a lot, could paint such an inaccurate portrait of someone they love! "He's so ugly, so ugly.. I'll have such ugly kids.. shit! - but you might not think so because you've even said so and so is attractive." "I've told him if N doesn't like, you it's off"(!!) And then I met him. And sure, he's no looker, but I came off sounding like one of those panelist given the mike at a beauty contest who has to spout shit like, attractiveness is not about your jawline -- it's all within.

Okay, so I won't go as far as to say I thought he was attractive, but I definitely see what she might see. Great body, one. Dark, two. Patience in dealing with your stupid tantrums and shit, three. Doesn't take himself seriously, four -- this should be 'one', actually. Makes you laugh - should rank highest. And the rest of it. So what if he looks like an owl meets sherpa. I think that's cute. And the two of them still have so much to talk about, random rubbish, not 'topics' or what-did-you-do-today type strained shit, but a good ol' rapport with lightness and knowing smirks. So what if he listens to lambi-judai type crap on radio, wears those tight shirts, and his humour isn't an appetiser for me, oh AND he doesn't read - he has to float her boat, not mine. And you! Of all the men I've seen you with, this one watches over you the best. So here you go, validation on paper, in writing -- isn't that what you wanted? Marry the guy. Create your little dark sherpas. With so much good-natured foolishness in their DNA, they'll be a joy to have around. And I get to be their cool smarmy aunt.

Actually, whoever you marry I get to be that, so ignore everything I just said. I like him. It's a good time.


The Unbearable Banishment said...

Dark? That's a big selling point out there? What would my pale white ass do in such a place? Or would I be seen as something exotic and desirable? Harrumph. I'd best not take any chances. I'm canceling my plans to move.

Nimpipi said...

'Out there' as in for the country at large? No, I don't think so. 'Fair and lovely' is the preference, also a face cream with a record turnover. SO then that came out wrong - dark is a selling point with me. Pale asses don't cut no ice. But for you and your - ha ha, 'big Polish kielbasa', I will make an exception. Stay order on the plans to move. Next!

Miss.Mystic said...

You're back! I thought I'd have to send Batman to find my favorite blogger.
Your post reminds me of the weird comfort level we enjoy with certain people, the silly nick names you give them and how childish we act when we meet them.
Personally, dark and handsome clicks with me too! :)
Happy Diwali in advance!

chandni said...

:) :) :)

Sanchari said...

Hallelujah for such friends :)

Parul said...

What, you were in Bombay? I wish you had said so earlier. I could have totally drummed up a Nimpipi fan group begging you to please, please meet us. No? Ok, then, next time?

Ellie said...

I want you as a friend around the corner from my house. I think it would be FUN! I like dark too.

Nimpipi said...

Miss Mystic, I'm all for Batman really but I'm confused by how you think he'd find me. With inputs from Alfred? :P Happy Diwali to you too, ji. May the season treat you well.

C, wha..? JLT? okay. :) :) :)

Sanchari, Amen! :)

Parul, what is this compulsion to make me blush? For the sake of it, okay! fine! next time! whatever you say boss, etc. In return, tell me when you're in Delhi na? I'd like to take you out for an autograph. Ahahaha. No, seriously. I'm getting your book, you're signing it and in return getting a coffee/ drink. We'll do the chitters and the chatters and discover some six degree type people and well, yaay, even just that sounds fun, I say! Woo hoo for plans in the air! :D

Ellie, I'm convinced we should walk the dogs together. It can become our thing. We'll have those did-you-ever-wonder-about-this/that/the other type talks, and also share the guilt of cutting dog walk cardio high with ze daily smoke -- says she, handing over mutt's leash to properly fumble for a light.

Anonymous said...

a comment on a comment on a comment

'take you out for an autograph'


- k

okay, a bit creepy, so what.

Pringle Man said...

@nimpipi Even I was wondering WHEN and HOW and IF you will blog about bombay.

@parul I'm doing the Delhi chapter, you can do Bombay. We might share her with you sometimes.

Nimpipi said...

Creep K, comment away! (See, rhymes.) Must take some skill to recognise brilliance, nahi? I'd say you're good.

PM, heh, loving this cross connection commenting that has nothing to do with my poor post. And just you wait, I'll sort these delhi chapter plans of yours once I see your face. Milo toh.

Anonymous said...

haan, N, are you complimenting me or yourself?

- k

Miss.Mystic said...

Umm... he Batman might be your neighbor, Batman has outsourced his services to India, so maybe... just maybe, your next door peeps are a Batcare execs. ;) * The writer of this message should not be threatened with a bat under any circumstances* :D Btw, back in Delhi armed with a new job... G'gaon still has bad traffic! :(