Friday, October 31, 2008

Backscratching Darcy boy

So, I made a new friend.

Yes, I know we stopped talking like that since we got home from playing in the park but it's true. I struck up a chat, picked up an acquaintance, and now I have one new friend.

Didn't go out of my way or anything; obviously, CAN I DO FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU isn't going to achieve any normal friendly results. But the warped-ish rapport is struck and it's too late to undo the banter.

How we unearthed the innate goodness in each other: I had the privilege to work with this whack job. I'll make you meet him some day. But till then you don't know what you're missing. Even so, stay with me.

It should be a common enough belief that there's nothing worse than a staid workplace.

Mayank Austen Soofi is the bugger's name. Can't be helped. Pretension loaded son of a gun finds respite in Pride and Prejudice, fantasises about Darcy -- maybe, has some God knows how many blogs, and thinks he's one Soofi reincarnate. Thapad maaro, really! In spite of all which, he has the absolute cheek to not be able to suffer fools. I've never met a more priceless man all year long. Like the other day:

Me: (Bored at work): I think I'll go to the himmelyeas and write my book.

MAS: (Not looking up) Darling, the kind of book capable of you, just go to Tabula Rasa and type.

Now maybe it's not right to be abusing the shit out of people we work for, so that can possibly stay in the closet, but in person, and face to face, there is such joy and camaraderie in venting together a common angst. The gossip and hideously cheap allusions cause stitches in sides. It's like mentally bookmarking every little gem he comes out with, straight-faced and all. Every day he says heyy hiii in this characteristic flirty whats-up-hot-stuff way that makes me choke on my giggles. Given the chance, I'm quite sure he will convince you that being boring is the worst sin ever, and make brilliant earnest cases of just how ok it is chose sex as your religion.

Anyhow, I'd like to believe we became friends or whatever. From which unsaid point on, I took the liberty of sounding off to him just how insufferable I find his writing, and that his is the most m*therfucker of all blogs, blah blah, and it's such a shame that an entertaining little scamp is so hung up on poverty, and. . . well, I can't say the next word out loud.

Do you know how he reacts? "Please will you send that to me?" So I do. I put the one line on email, he puts the one line up (on ((one of))his blog(s)).

It's the most bizarre rapport -- side stitches, angsty abuses and pucker sounds. I'm getting confused traffic from his piss all url, and El's even saying to me yo pip, what gives.

What can I say bebe, it's true. Jog that old fact stranger than line. It apparently takes all sorts.


Anonymous said...

I am sure this is going to get more interesting !

Yohan said...

I think I've heard of this chap. Read about him in an article... why he changed his name and suchlike.

El said...

oh delightful post, thapad maaro - hit nail on the head with that one, tis too true, I did think the name thing was a bit much but I forgive him completely because I am as obsessed with Arundhati Roy as he is and I would stalk her too if he wasn't already doing it, the thing is that sometimes he's a bit too mope-y, and he lives in a library I mean wtf?

But Pip great that you're friends with him re, and hahaha I love what he said about your book, but could you please start with it already? I mean just start, and please don't write something silly, like don't generalise your characters and be all 'modern young woman' about it, tap into the zeitgeist bla bla, beyourself, but start! right here, no need for dehradun!

ps - can you tell him the readingarundhatiroy blog is LAME, it's obvious that he carries that book in his bag and asks people to pose reading it, but wait..that might be his exact intention..which makes it worse. : ) err..think that came off a lot meaner than intended, if it counts - I do read everything he puts up..?

Anonymous said...

Now wait just a sec here. when I read this item this morning (in the wee hours, NY time) there was a comment by the authoress about wanting to lodge a bullet in Mayank's balls... and all I could think, at the time, was, "What a waste of a perfectly good bullet."

I also concluded that the writer has a bad case of "lingam envy," and that for all that Mayank is castigated for in terms of his writing, I can't say that she comes near to the quality of his blog.

Mayank... please keep going where no one has gone before, probing areas no one asks about. Your piece today with the Muslim women was fascinating (if somewhat awkward), but very interesting.

Keep up the good work! And I hope that the two of you continue to be good friends and buddies!


Kheldar said...

Is that you in brown kurta at the header ??

El said...

fight, fight, come on pip, you gonna take that lying down?

Nimpipi said...

Anon1: what more interesting, man? thats all there is to it. e o m.

Han: yep, likely. Given that he is quite the little celeb in these parts.

El: thank you ji, as always. I don't quite know how to be or not be modern women but let us to play it by the ear i say. Haan, and he knows all he said and does is lame. People like me keep reminding him, then he comes back with a you're just jealous which then leads me to believe that he might have a point:)

Anon 2: Peter, you said. Hi! Little ouch -- I mean, wtf, I'm convinced I'm the greatest:D -- heh, anyway yep, we're pally still. I made him read this comment, he goes, AUTHORESSS, like TIGRESSSS woohoo"! :D hilarity becomes him. I agree with you though, he does venture about breaking brave new ground.

Kheldar: What so surprised "??"

El: See my claws yet or docility is the new sarcasm? =)

riddhiculous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
riddhiculous said...

Firstly I simply am in love with his work.. photographs especially... writes perfectly well.. and i love darcy too..lolz..
for your post: Smirky is the word. I love, support, agree "thappad maaro really" .... I came across his blogs arnd 7-8 months back and I was like WTF .. curiosity stricken wannabe journo I am and I thought I have to write about him..I called up and was greeted by "dil mein mere hai dard e disco" ring tone.. and I cringed :P but he was human otherside of the receiver.. though due to some time constraints our meeting did not happen. By the time I knew he was already in the newspapers :P But I loved your post.. Super..

Inexplicably said...

The guy knows his marketing. Who gives a **** to the writing ! He he,

Plus he is driving traffic to your site. I came !

He's given you solus position on his blog. He should be sending you a bill. *ducks for cover*

Anonymous said...

Its a damn good job that MAS is doing. Especially with himself.
I mean I've never really seen a case of guy who wipes out his north indian, upwardly mobile, namesdropping, middle classness to re-create a whole new character for himself. I mean...I guess he just woke up one day and thought up this Jane Austen loving, Gora/Gori hugging (sheesh!!), Wilde-style-bibliophile. Bibliophile did I say?? More like a book-fetishiser. I'll never borrow a book from him, thats for sure. God knows what he has been upto with it.

Prateek Shah said...

Well i logged on thedelhiwalla to catch some interesting pics and write ups, and bang on top there i find the best one of them all :)

This 'friendly' camaraderie of yours has sure gone public , waiting to read about it in print some day.. Carry on..

Rajiv said...

hey young lady ,u write well nd soofi is a gem,hahahaha may b I m wrong:P.but his blogs r mast:) nd aap ke bhi.yeah pehla hi pada hai
GOD bless U

aj said...

why do you have ten thousand links from his post to this post. what kind of a weird set up is this. are you both trying to be smart ass playing a quickie on us here?

Miss. Mystic said...

Hi, Loved your blog!!! Its quite funny how we become friends almost at the blink of an eye with people who annoy us the most, truly god just loves to send people in our lives to pick on us whenever we feel we are too big for our boots...

Ramit Grover said...

He's a nice guy. Hang on to him and we're sure to get more hilarious posts from you!

sanely insane said...

I think writing a book nowadays is all about getting ones act together and penning beyond the 40k words. and then finding out the right connections to get your stuff read by one of those people who gotta decide what crap to publish.

Both the plus and minus of a world with 7 bn humanoids...some of whom can read and write, mostly none of us who r educated :P

so many people who can and will read, so many varied stuff

some of the best writers however i feel write porn...